Do you find it hard to answer the question "what do you want?"
"I don't know".
I don't know what I want, I don't know what I want to be, what I want to have. So I let people decide for me on what I should have, should want and what I should need.
When you don't know your identity, you'll lose yourself in the crowd. You can be influenced by great and small minds. Take a pick when you are confused, it will lead you to a detours and long routes. And you will find yourself exhausting, chasing for things, questioning yourself "what should I become?" #selfworth #whatdoyouwant
When we don't have sense of self worth, we let the people around us decide for ourselves. We sometimes go to detours and blame other people of what we've become when it's our fault. I'm not saying this in a place of judgment but I've been there. I had regrets too but now I see it as a learning experience, grateful for the long routes.
I used to be a person who gets persuade by peers because I don't have my own standards and principles. I mimicked the values that they instilled with me when I know that I totally disagreed. But since it always looked like I have a bizarre way of thinking, I don't want to be the odd one in the group. So I kept my opinions to myself and afraid even though I was uncomfortable.
I had a hard time to say "No, I can't." I used to say "YES" all the time even though it was an inconvenience. I feared rejection and I don't want them to feel that way too so I kept saying yes on every circumstances whether it's favourable to me or not.
Same thing with the choices of people I dated, people I let into my life. There was "no quality control". I don't know what my standards were and I let them crossed the line.
When you have someone right now who doesn't know what is your boundary, constantly invading your personal space even though you keep telling them not to cross the line and they are being push over, LEAVE! Stay away from these people. Why? You are telling them, "It's okay to abuse me whenever you want. I'm fine with it."
What is your standards? How can you set your standards? I started with finding what makes me feel good. I like beautiful things, I like to be comfortable and I started to determine situations that are not good for me. I stop myself and ask "am I okay with this? yes or no?" I only give myself two options, there's no in between.
When you are always unsure, and you can't decide for yourself, don't let other people do it for you. You are free to take your time. You don't have to rush. Find what feels good. Say NO to people and things that are not good for you.
Advocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time.