"The people who affect you the most are the ones closest to you, and usually the ones you know you really love." - Banks
Banks talk about a passive - aggressive relationship on this song. She questioned herself and worth. It's basically the same for us when we have push and pull relationships. "Are we worthy of love and attention?" We always seek for validation from these people who are wrong for us.
After learning about self love, self care and setting boundaries, the universe is telling me to test drive my new foundation.
I was in a bad place and I encountered people who were not good for me. I felt lost and alone, trying to squeeze my way out of the dark.
Full story here: https://everydaycommunity.weebly.com/living-authentically/im-not-okay-and-its-not-okay-to-treat-single-women-with-disrespect
I connected with wrong people which doesn't even help my mental and emotional state. I was in these trying times and I lost the connection within myself for awhile. I was out of balance, powerless, out of control of the situation. I let those things happen to me.
Since I was in a bad state, this guy came like a prince charming ready to rescue me. No red flags but a huge LOSER sign screaming on his forehead that I didn't notice. It's in our motherly nature to become nurturing and caring so we let things slide by calling major things as "his minor flaws" and hope we can improve him. How MANY TIMES I DIDN'T LISTEN to myself at this state? When you feel uncomfortably weird, no peace of mind, it's your body telling you that something is off and you have to listen to it.
This guy I called loser comes and goes. Only present when everything is alright and walks out on me when he has to deal with problems. I got rid of him after 2 months. I still have long way to go to lay out strong foundation. I don't want to keep repeating the same codependency history I've had.
The universe put me on test drive, absolutely. Did I pass? I had to ask myself, did I practice self care and self love on this situation?
Advocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time.