Codependency Test Drive Part 2

Come and sit in the dark
Come and sit in silence
Come and listen to your every breath, to your heart beating, full of life

Can you sit in silence? Without distractions from the outside? Can you quiet your mind and just be still...appreciating the beauty infront of you. #thepowerwithinyou

The habits that I've started 5 years ago didn't change. I still do yoga, meditation, grounding and releasing negative energy that does not belong to me. I still listen to podcasts and all resources that can help me cultivate my healthy habits. 

What has change is the people that I am now surrounded with, the circumstances that I am in now, the places I'm going now - and most of all the way I see, feel and hear my thoughts has change. My life is not perfect. I have encountered lots of challenges like different culture, different mindset and I found myself in these situations that I become observant than reactive. The old version of me would have put energy on anger, resentment. This time, I chose to observed my thoughts. 

When we are grounded like a healthy tree, deeply rooted to mother earth, no matter how strong the wind is, the frequent changes of weather, we can survive the storm. We are standing tall, firmly supported on the ground. What if a healthy tree lose its leaves? withers away? It's a normal phase of life. Like a tree, we will keep on growing a new leaf, a flower bud and we will aim for that sunshine. 

I had encountered both extremes of the life spectrum within the past few months. I was stress, frustrated and on the other end I was grateful, overjoyed. I also lost passion and motivation to wake up everyday. I distracted myself on social media, text messages, by going out with friends or going out solo on adventure, hoping whatever was bothering me would go away. Maybe I was just lonely, maybe the stress was within my environment. 

I finally came to a conclusion that I had to face my fear. I sit in with myself,  I checked on my thoughts what was really happening. I used distractions to escaped my feelings and it clouded my discernment on making decisions so I ended up chosing the old road that I'm familiar with - avoidance. 

This time I promised myself to become a victor in every situation, to find the higher version of myself amidst my old codependency habits.  I might retrace my steps in order for me to go back or I have to make the same mistakes and that's okay, we have to keep growing like the tree.

Here's cleansing meditation to heal childhood wounds and negative programming.