I came across an Instagram newsfeed @omgskr so I googled her and found her medium posts.
There is one about "The 48 Hour Second Date", that all of us can totally relate as single women who are always on guard. Does it sound familiar?? Single Independent Women... yes you.
Sara, the version of most of us - young, talented, beautiful woman who found the guy that she likes but because we don't want to be vulnerable (after getting used to be strong and independent on our own), we push the guy away subconsciously.
She knows that they liked each other and it has a potential to become a relationship but since we have too many what ifs.. we are so good on putting the guys on our safety zones.
1. The guy asked you out, and you didn't take a hint that it's definitely a date, so you keep it cool and act like a dude. You don't let him open the doors for you and you insisted on paying half of the bill or worst paid it yourself. Days later, you realized you liked him but he's no longer interested in you and you wonder why.
2. He's showing signs that he likes you - initiating conversations or starting any kinds of topic just to talk to you, he looks at you with interests when you talk and you get the message that maybe this guy likes you but you don't want to look vulnerable, poker face on. And the guy was crushed and disheartened so he didn't pursue. And again you wonder why he stopped talking to you.
3. You like this thing! - The interesting conversations you have going on, your inside jokes that you two only get, your love of music, arts...whatever! Then you started analyzing....what is this? Does he like me too? Or he just like talking to me?? He is just bored?? So you put the game on - I will reply to his messages after 2 days so he will not feel I'm so interested. Or maybe I should stop and see what happens if he will chase me back.
Obviously, he's making the effort to text you back. Most guys are really bad on chats or just plain lazy but you can tell the difference between "I'm just being polite so stop messaging me girl" to "I am bad on texting but I'm trying my best because I like you".
Sara, like most of us has the obvious answers up on our noses. We strived too hard to become strong. We are afraid of rejection so we don't want to become vulnerable and we already "preface" the ending. She invited the guy to a wedding and she gave off the message of "if you just want to.." Of course you want him to come right?? And she composed her messages with lots of ??? - Single Independent Women but we don't have the courage to take the risk so we retreat to our happy bubble, our safe shell.
And here's for the ladies who has partners, DON'T lose yourself, your identity. It doesn't mean that you are in a relationship that you will do things together all the time or you have to agree to everything. You are still two unique individuals with differences.
Do you want to sit all day waiting for him to come home while he's having his men's night out?? And you tortured yourself?? Why we do these things to ourselves? Or you do everything for him that he is almost pampered like a baby while you can't complain that you're already tired??
As they say, a woman can BREAK or MAKE a man.
Give the love back to yourself. There's no maybes and what ifs.
"Yes you want that? No you don't? Is it a YES or a No?"
I don't know why I always compromise
I've seen the same ceiling a thousand times
But I see the future hiding in your eyes
So keep holding my stare, keep holding my stare
Cause I wanna be good for it, good for it, good for it
I wanna be good for it, good for it, good for it
I wanna be everything I promised when I swore I was honestly
Good for it, good for it, good for it
'Cause I wanna be good
Advocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time.