What's a healthy person looks like? What's a healthy relationship sounds like? Can you say you are overall in a "healthy" state? #whatshealthylovelookslike
To be able to take care of others, you have to know how to take care of yourself. It's also the same with, if you want to receive love, you have to know to give love. These are basics and innate to us humans but we don't really know how to "take care" and "how to love" ourselves. We think that by the time we were born, it's natural to know love, to be take caren of, to be able to receive our needs from our caregivers but all of us were neglected of those needs. Our caregivers or our parents didn't also know how to give these basic needs. We adapt the natural norms or those beliefs from the environment that we grew up with. - I talk about it all the time in one of my post :). It changes overtime as we grow up, socialise and meet different people and circumstances. It's up to us if these situations has created a positive impact or a negative outcome in our lives.
I shared a lot about the classic conditioning of my childhood, my mom was a perfectionist and my dad is a codependent. My mom's parents were perfectionist and my dad's parents were strict and abusive. They mirrored those beliefs to their children. So I grew up not realising I was codependent and an over-achiever. It has a positive and a negative impact when I transitioned to adulthood. I became perfectionist at work, made a fuss over small matters and in my vision, the world was always against me.
In my relationships, love was not enough. I was clingy, needy and could not be satisfied with what I had. - The traits of a self love deficit individual.
Same with the choices of relationships I chose, it was abusive -verbally or emotionally because it was the environment that I've known. I leaned towards the same types of people with the same beliefs I had to myself. The insecurities, "I was not good enough" so I persistently did things to please others in order to gain approval. The low self esteem, when someone discarded my opinions and my feelings, I stopped speaking up for myself. I couldn't find that voice.
Here's Katie Hood listed the characteristics of a healthy relationship within your inner circles (whether it's your family, friends and partners). 1 in 4 men and 1 in 3 women experienced abusive/violent relationships, she said according to statistics. "It will never happen to me" - like what we say most of the time. It's all around us on different versions. We didn't know the basics of self love and boundaries. We have to consistently learn.
What's a "healthy" individual looks like to you? What a "healthy relationship" sounds like?
Are you overall in a healthy state with yourself, in your relationships and day to day situations?
Advocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time.