I hear this question a lot. "Are we losing good men?", "Where are the good men nowadays?"
And on the other side, men says "Where are those soft, tender women?" "Why women become stronger than men?". Women are taking over the responsibilities of men in the society. Scary isn't it? #arewechangingforthebetter
Think about the society that we're creating now - gender equality, feminism, I'm not against all that. I am one of those who empowers women too. So what's wrong here? When being too strong becomes too much.
I looked at how we behave, my fellow strong independent women. We don't allow men to do heavy lifting anymore. We no longer let them to be men. Men as hunters and providers.
We feel awkward when a kind gesture of simply opening the door for us, offering help or any forms of assistance, we shrink or we feel paralyzed instead of saying "thank you". Sometimes we go ahead and do it for men. So why we're complaining about "no one's being gentlemen these days" when we're the ones who drive them away? I'm also guilty most of the time. A kind neighbor offered to carry my groceries while I was struggling to balance my laundry and groceries but I declined. He was just a gentlemen, simply offering for assistance but I said no thank you, I got it. These are one of our everyday scenarios that we are unconsciously doing. Why are we not letting them serve us because we deserve to be treated like ladies like the old days. It doesn't make us less of a definition of "strong women".
No wonder why when we go on dates we don't hear from these men anymore. They don't want anything to do with you anymore - romantically speaking because it feels like they are talking to another guy, to their dudes. We think like men, we behave like men. It's not the matter of you are too techy, also into sports and business, etc. What I'm talking about is being feminine and vulnerable are all gone. We always put our guards up or even put walls. So the idea of meeting someone genuinely becomes playing the game of who wins and who lose.
It's okay to stand up for ourselves and be independent most of the time but we always have to remember that we still need men. We are wired to work together as help mates. It's a partnership from the very beginning, back to the days of Adam and Eve. One cannot function without the other.
Ladies, it's time to stop being at the forefront and give men the space to lead. Let them do the S E R V I C E. They'll be happy to do the works for you. Chasing men? Making the first move? When you let them know what you want, what you expect and your standards are and they are not doing anything, don't waste your time. Keep going. "Maybe they just need help, maybe I need to teach them" - no honey, you don't need to help them. It's their own journey, they have to figure it out themselves.
Are we breeding a generation of weaker, dependent, unreliable men? I hope not.
Advocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time.