To my strong independent humans out there, let's talk about S T A N D A R D S. What are the things you tolerate and you don't tolerate? Whether in a relationship, friends and people in general. At first, I didn't know what's good and bad for me so I tolerated things that were not acceptable to me, saying yes to everything and everyone for the sake of pleasing people. I found myself stuck on a vicious cycle. "Why I keep dealing with the similar types?" #selfworth
After I learned so much about myself, and still doing my inner works - (healing and a lot of personal growth development), my new foundation has been put to a test - meeting men and dating. As of now, I'm not really interested with dating. When someone asks me out, I go for it and try to be open with possibilities, coming from the place of no judgment and no expectations but I'm always putting myself first. What do you mean put yourself first?
Knowing myself as a Codependent, I used to cling to others for my needs, I used to rely on others to make me happy. Now I found what makes me happy, what makes me whole, I can't let myself to be taken away into someone else's shoes. A Codependent is happy when they serve others, when they sacrifice for others, when they fill the needs of others, let alone themselves. "What about Y O U?"
Recently, I dealt with a flaky guy, the one who doesn't know how to properly date women. I clearly stated that I can't date him and explained to him how valuable is my time and therefore planning and setting a genuine interest for the person that you like is important. He told me that I was a high maintenance. (You can tell where this ends). The obvious answer is NO. You can't lower your standards to ANYONE.
Will it make you happy if they will give you conditions that doesn't even meet you halfway? Or keep pushing you on what they want instead of asking you what you want? What if someone says that they can't take you out to have a proper meal? Are you okay "hanging out" on their porch or someone else's backyard? What if they tell you that they can't fix their schedule and plan their finances like a grown adult? Will you still date them?
I don't care and I'm not bothered if I keep hearing the high maintenance word. These are the things that I can tolerate and these are the things that I can't tolerate. I will not give in to what you want if that doesn't make me happy or even bother by it. If we keep ignoring that small voice, those red flags, we're bound for devastation. I work hard to be whole, fulfilled individual. This is what I want the most, my happiest. If that someone ruin my best, let me sacrifice for myself to please them or worse give up the things that I like in order to make them feel good, brings them joy.. Definitely, "No, thank you. You do your own. This woman is better off alone".
More from The Power of Positivity:
1. SHE MAKES DECISIONS
2. SHE DOES THINGS ALONE
3. SHE GETS IT DONE
4. SHE DOESN’T COMPLAIN
5. SHE TELLS IT LIKE IT IS
6. SHE IS CONFIDENT
7. SHE IS SELF- RELIANT
8. SHE IS SELF - MOTIVATING
9. SHE DOESN'T NEED CONSTANT VALIDATION
10. SHE IS GOAL ORIENTED
11. SHE MAKES THINGS HAPPEN
12. SHE TAKES RISKS
13. SHE DOESN'T PLAY THE VICTIM
14. SHE INVESTS IN HERSELF
15. SHE WAITS FOR NO MAN
Advocate of authentic self. Lover of life. Passionate on understanding humans. Serving with a purpose, one day at a time.